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ABG: Always Be Growing

July 9, 2023

Many professionals finish their undergraduate or master’s degree and conclude they can rely on that institutional knowledge alone to thrive in their careers. Yet those most likely to reach personal and professional goals are always growing and learning.

This includes not only book (articles, podcast, lectures, TED Talks, etc.) learning, but also experiential learning that is available to you all the time. This means learning from setbacks by making changes, so you don’t repeat mistakes in the future. It means continually taking a “beginner’s mind” perspective so that you remain curious and open to innovation and ideas.

A huge part of this continual growth comes from knowing yourself so that you can continually recognize where you are in relation to where you want to be. Welcome both positive and critical feedback as information to help you better understand how you’re showing up.

“Become the world’s greatest expert on yourself so that you can become the very best version of yourself.” This is the advice of Greg Harden, author of the book Stay Sane in an Insane World. Harden, the executive director of athletic counseling at the University of Michigan, has a track record of working with high profile athletes including Tom Brady, Desmond Howard, Charles Woodson, Michael Phelps and many others, who were able to use his advice to reach incredible athletic goals.

Harden’s guidance includes the idea that you should practice, train, and rehearse by giving one hundred percent, one hundred percent of the time. “Because if you make this your mindset, then on your absolutely worst day,” he writes, “you’re still going to be better than the average person on their best day.” Harden sees no shortcut to greatness.

This doesn’t apply only to Olympic and professional athletes. Giving one hundred percent one hundred percent of the time can be applied to everything we do on or off the field.

And all too often we can be our own worst enemy by being overly critical when we should practice self-love and self-acceptance. By doing so, we’re more likely to welcome the opportunities we face every day to learn and grow.

According to Harden, it is our attitudes and behaviors that can either support or detract from our growth. We should recognize that:

  • Self-defeating attitudes and behaviors hold you back from reaching your goals.

while . . .

  • Self-supporting attitudes and behaviors help you cultivate reaching your goals.

All too often our self-talk is critical or dismissive of our efforts. This can undermine our ability to grow. Instead, we should treat ourselves the way we would counsel and support a close friend or family member. We should be compassionate and supportive.

“Become the very best friend you ever had in your life, because your very best friend has to be you,” writes Harden.  

To always be growing means taking this advice and using it to assist you. Reduce your self-defeating attitudes and behaviors; embrace your self-supporting ones. Be your own very best friend and give one hundred percent one hundred percent of the time. Do so and you will always be growing and reaching your goals.

Self-Awareness in Leadership

April 25, 2019

The best leaders are self-aware. Are you?

Most of us tend to over-estimate how self-aware we actually are. In the same way 80% of drivers think of themselves as above average, 95% of people say they are self-aware. Yet, according to a five-year research program, only 10% to 15% of people are considered self-aware.

When it comes to leaders and self-awareness, some research suggests that the higher you ascend, the less self-aware you become. This means it’s very important to monitor how self-aware you are as you progress throughout your career.

How do you know whether you or someone you know is self-aware? Here are the consistent behaviors of people who are not self-aware:

  • They won’t listen to, or accept, critical feedback.
  • They cannot empathize with, or take the perspective of, others.
  • They have difficulty “reading a room” and tailoring their message to their audience.
  • They possess an inflated opinion of their contributions and performance.
  • They are hurtful to others without realizing it.
  • They take credit for successes and blame others for failures.

Self-awareness means you have a sound understanding of who you are as a person and how you relate to the world in which you live. You know your strengths and weaknesses, and you know how to manage them in the workplace. You can manage your emotions, and the more you pay attention to them, the better you understand why you do the things the way you do. This is critical to self-leadership.

According to organizational psychologist and executive coach Dr. Tasha Eurich, research has found that when we are able to see ourselves clearly, we are more confident and creative, able to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and communicate more effectively. All of which are important to effective leadership.

Of course, most of us are not entirely self-aware or unself-aware, but somewhere in the middle. This means we are likely to be more developed internally or externally. To find out, you can take a self-awareness Insight Quiz here.

Internal and External Self-Awareness

Eurich separates self-awareness into two broad categories: internal and external. Internal self-awareness is how clear we can see our values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment and reactions—including our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths and weaknesses. It also represents the impact we have on others. This internal perspective is associated with higher satisfaction in both our relationships, on the job and overall happiness.

External self-awareness is how other people view us in terms of those same factors. Research shows that people who know how others see them are more skilled at showing empathy and taking others’ perspectives. When leaders are able see themselves as their employees do, the employees tend to have a better relationship with them, feel more satisfied with them, and see them as more effective in general.

Eurich’s research reveals that there is basically no relationship between internal and external self-awareness—just because you may be high on one doesn’t mean you will be high on the other. Developing both your internal and external self-awareness are equally important.

Increasing your self-awareness requires that you accurately see yourself for who you are, and this requires breaking through preconceived notions of what may be your aspirational self to reveal your imperfect self. It means identifying what you see and accepting it. With this knowledge and acceptance then comes the ability to leverage it and propel your leadership growth.

Seeing ourselves for who we really are requires humility and vulnerability. Accepting what we see and choosing to increase our self-awareness takes courage and discipline. And the effort will pay off as you increase your overall leadership capacity.